My Disdain for Christmas

I don't remember exactly when I started to loathe Christmas, but as the years have passed since that day, the list of reasons why I don't like Christmas has grown. I'll never remember each and every one for this post, but I'm in the mood to vent.

First of all, it's a religious holiday, and though I'm spiritual, and I kinda (wholeheartedly when I need to be bailed out of a jam) believe in God, lines are drawn when it comes to immaculate conceptions, mangers, and other fun stories invented by people who had their own agendas. The irony of a religious holiday creating this much stress is not lost on me.

The commercialization of Christmas is embarrassing, and I am ashamed that I walk with the sheeple. It really is exponentially worse than the commercially-invented holidays like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. Don't get me wrong. I have zero issues with retailers taking advantage of this. I am a die-hard Libertarian, after all. I would love to completely exclude myself from this nonsense, but one would be held in higher regard if they kicked a dog than if they bought nothing for loved ones on Christmas. I fall in line as little as possible. My best friends and favorite family members give each other the best gift of all. Nothing. We each spare the other from the stress.

The stress. The fucking stress. I don't stress about what to buy. My sister tells me what to get my niece and nephew, and I buy wine for the few others to whom I feel obligated. No, the real stress for me comes from pretending to like something. I dread those moments. I know, I know.....it's the thought that counts. So tell me. Exactly how much thought did you put into buying this Mr. Rogers' sweater? When have you ever seen me wear a fucking sweater? Not only must I feign happiness and gratitude, but now I have to drive to Goodwill to drop off this present.

The fucking music. I've yet to meet one person who likes Christmas music, but there it is, playing everywhere. Nothing makes me want to get out of a store faster than Christmas music. Not babies crying, not country music, and not morbidly obese people driving their carts....nothing. Tired songs, some remade by the latest hipsters, that remain agonizingly annoying. Perhaps I'm the exception rather than the rule, but was there a study that concluded annoying Christmas music encourages shoppers to spend? Maybe it encourages shoppers not to check prices because that would add seconds to the torture. There must be a reason, but I don't care enough to research it.

I feel better, though there are others like Salvation Army bell-ringers, Black Friday idiots, traffic, being around family members I don't like. On the bright side, I'm enjoying not having to drive to Louisiana and listen to my ex-father-in-law talk about nothing for hours on end for the fourth consecutive Christmas. Life could be worse. On that note, have a Merry Christmas.