Penny Wise, Pound Foolish

I don't remember why I decided to do it. I had seen photos of tables, countertops, and floors covered with pennies, and I fell in love with the look. I glued the first row of pennies, and I thought, "That went smoothly and quickly. I can finish this in no time." No matter how old I get, I'm still so blatantly naive about some things. 

I was cruising along here......

Hoping to continue moving quickly, I scoured the floor of my car, the closet, drawers, the top of the dryer, and I came up with another 30 or so, but I was tapped out of copper. I was heading over to my sister's house that Saturday night, and I knew they had metric fuck-tons (credit: Dexter) of change. Low and behold, a score. I must be the only idiot who trades cash for pennies. I even raided my nephew's piggy bank (actually, it a blue box).

I returned home around midnight, convinced that I would be able to knock out a sizable portion of the surface area. I drank a bottle of Bordeaux and a couple Coors Lights.......

......and I only managed to progress this far........

I felt defeated. Why in the hell did I start this? I felt like one of those sad souls who spend their existences building model airplanes. An important step up from adults playing Pokemon, yes, but not much of one. Luckily, the wine and beer had sufficiently sedated me. I fell asleep without dwelling much.

I needed pennies. Dark ones, shiny ones, and a lot of them. Finding new pennies wasn't as easy as I thought. The rolls they give at banks always seem to have a shiny penny on each end, but not many in between. A light bulb went off. Despite my penchant for naivete, I have a pretty good memory. I remembered a stupid science experiment our fourth grade science glass conducted involving vinegar, salt, and pennies. All I had was apple cider vinegar and sea salt, but the trick worked. I was churning out shiny pennies by the quarter. I was still short by about 800, and I wasn't going to visit the bank every day, I enlisted friends, acquaintances, bartenders, dry cleaning dude, convenience store guy....I had no shame. Everyone was nice about it....I guess they all felt sorry for me. I fancied myself as the cute, adorable, and incredibly stupid mutt everyone pets and feeds out of pity. I didn't care. Every day, a little bit closer......

....until one day, I glued the last penny. What kills me is that I don't have a photo of gluing the final cent. I'm a bit perturbed now that I know one doesn't exist.

I had to seal the top, and there's a restaurant across the street from where I live that has this really interesting bar top. I asked the owner what it was, and he told me it was some kind of epoxy I could buy at Home Depot. Score!! 

In my mind, I felt like I was skipping to the entrance. I went to the sealer aisle. I found it. WTF? This shit is expensive. I'm not poor, but I sure as hell wasn't going to spend $70 on some epoxy. I would never get my money back. That would be like installing a sauna inside a trailer home. I had worked with polyurethane before with some success, and I figured I would get a seal not quite as thick, but sufficient enough. I was right. I generously poured (emptied) the small can, spreading it evenly with a foam roller. I woke the next morning, and it had dried perfectly. 

I'm left wondering what to do with it. I will likely sell it, but a small part of me wants to keep it as a reminder to always think through a process before embarking on a project. I've since started upholstering a couch, and I think I'm in over my head on that one. This stupid mutt will never learn, regardless of reminders. And I really hate pennies now.

March Sadness

There just aren't many things worse than coming home with an empty cat carrier.

I'll never forget the day I met him. A client found him and his sister by their air conditioning fan outside. I really didn't want another cat, but I suddenly found myself choosing between him and his sister. For me, the decision was easy. He was rambunctious, sweet, and there was something behind his eyes. He wasn't terribly bright, but his eyes exuded kindness. That's what I needed at the time, and he needed a home, so I welcomed Parker.

He was laid back. McQueenish. King of cool..........

Everyone loved Parker.....

Even Sydney tolerated Parker

Today, Parker took a bad turn. As I drove to the emergency vet clinic, I knew how this story was going to end. There was nothing else to do. During our final minutes together, I said my good-bye through blurry eyes. He licked my hand, and when I put my face close to his, he licked my nose. While I bawled, the vet commented that he was checking on me. I looked down, and his eyes were firmly fixed on mine. Maybe he was brighter than I thought. A few minutes later, he was drugged much like I needed to be. Shortly thereafter, he was gone.

It's already strange. I haven't lived in a two-cat home since 1996. Friends make fun of my "old-cat-lady" tendencies, but I'm really not one. Circumstances arose, and I've never been the type to leave someone out in the cold. For some reason or another, we found each other, and who am I to refuse fate? Anyway, it's strange that when I woke this morning, he was here. Now, he's not.

Cheers Parkie. Today was difficult, and the decision I had to make rips my soul to this second, but it was made because I love you. Thank you for being part of my life for nearly 14 years. You were a bridge of sorts for me, connecting my twenties to my thirties. You exasperated me sometimes, you almost caused me countless torn ligaments by always being under me at the most unexpected times, but you were a cool cat to have around. The portion of pillow above my head will never be the same, nor will my life.

You saw much, and I'm glad you always kept your mouth shut. I'll remember you oh-so-very-fondly. Let my tears be a testament to how much I cared. Hope to see you on the other side.

Shaken, not blurred

We all tend to view our own problems as the worst in the world, and in light of my online dating debacles, I was no different. I have quickly regained a proper perspective. Quality family time, lots of good wine and laughter, and I feel so much better. Besides, my options are still open and completely unlimited. Life is bueno, and it does go on.

I suppose another factor contributing to my perspective-adjustment was the attack in Paris. It's yet another not-so-subtle reminder that life is precious and short. I'm not one of those who yearns to showcase how thoughtful I am by superimposing a French flag over a Facebook photo or hash-tagging PrayforParis. I've always been a substance-over-symbol type anyway, but the terror attacks did conjure some really random thoughts. One was extraordinarily random.

I remember when I won the coin collection. There was a running backgammon tab that reached just over $3000, and once I got tired of trying to collect actual money, we arranged an asset exchange. I got a .44 Magnum, a home gym, and a pretty cool coin collection. In the end, I was shortchanged quite a bit. I sold the gun a couple years later (story for another day), I gave the home gym to God knows whom, but I kept the coin collection.

Before I moved to Florida, I did a ton of pruning because I didn't want to take a lot with me. One day, I was browsing through the coins, and one caught my eye. At first, I thought it was a game token from an old carnival, but after a bit of research, I learned it was a late-19th century brothel token from Paris. They weren't worth a mint......I think mine sold on eBay for $120-150. The peculiar aspect of this particular sale was that I shipped the token to a guy who lived about 20 miles from the address of the old brothel. I remember feeling such joy that the token was going home. After news of the attacks broke, I wondered about the guy who bought it.

Address of Brothel

Location of old brothel

Proximity of old brothel to location of one terror attack

I'm not sure why I felt the urge to write about this, but I'm sure it has more to do with putting off the restoration of this monstrosity than anything.

Chin up, eyes forward, and Vive La France (they do have the best national anthem by the way). Adieu.